


Death by Love

by spnfamily_alwayskeepfighting



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anger, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-21 06:01:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16571012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnfamily_alwayskeepfighting/pseuds/spnfamily_alwayskeepfighting
Summary: Y/N is brand new to the world of hunting when she makes a mistake.





	Death by Love

“Sam, do I have to?” You whined. You were new to being a hunter. Sam had only told you about the ‘family business’ about a month before, despite the fact that you’d known and loved him for well over a year now. Once you were adjusted to the idea of everything that goes bump in the night being real and comfortable in your newfound home at the bunker, Sam started teaching you the basics. From salt repelling ghosts and demons to hitting the books and diving into even the most finely detailed lore. He tried to give you a complete education from day one.

Today’s lesson: learning how to use a gun and at least hit the target.

You’d never held a gun before in your life and you were petrified of hurting someone

“You’ll be fine. If you want to be a hunter, you have to know how to shoot, Y/N. Dean and I will teach you.”

You bit your lip and nodded as you entered the shooting range in the bunker. Dean was already there, loading a pistol.

There was a wall that was high enough to reach Sam’s waist, separating the three of you from targets that were in the shape of humans. _Great…_

“Alright Y/N,” Dean said and you turned your attention to him. He demonstrated how to use the gun as he spoke, “Load clip, safety off, pull slide, aim, shoot. Now show me.”

You took the gun from him with a shaky hand as you tried to look down the sight at the target. “Well, fuck…” you muttered.

“What’s wrong, Y/N/N?” Sam asked.

“I can’t see the middle of the targets, they’re too small. The colors are just blending together and making it look like one shade, even with my glasses..” you groaned. Not being able to see anything sucked. Having astigmatism sucked. Didn’t matter how strong your prescription was, you still couldn’t see a damn thing from far away.

“Would it help if we added something to help you distinguish between colors? Like, uh,” he gestured with his hands as he thought. “Different coloured tape. Would that work, baby?”

“I think so,” you said quietly. You had been hoping that Sam would let you get away with not learning to shoot if you mentioned you couldn’t see, but of course, he would come up with a solution. He always did.

You stared at the gun in your hand and gnawed your lip.

“It’ll be fine, Y/N/N. You’ll be a pro in no time,” Dean laid a hand on your shoulder.

“Got it.”

You lifted your head to see Sam walking in with a roll of red tape. He climbed over the wall and walked over to one of the targets. You watched as he ripped a few pieces and laid it upon the middle of the target.

“Alright, as long as you can hit the red tape in any of these spots then you’ll be fine. Anywhere else won’t be a kill shot. Can you see that?” Sam stepped to the side.

“Yeah, thank you,” you gave him a soft smile.  “But I’m still scared,” you said to both Sam and Dean.

“You’ll be fine, baby, I promise. Try it. You can’t hurt anyone,” Sam made an attempt at reassuring you as he stepped over the wall. He placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“What if I miss?”

“You won’t. You got this, Y/N. Even if you do miss, you’ll just try again.”

Your body trembled as you lifted the pistol, struggling to aim at the small piece of red tape on the very large human-shaped target.

“Come on, Y/N. Just do it already!” Dean encouraged.

You sucked in a breath, your body still shaking, and you pulled the trigger. You jumped back a bit from the recoil of the pistol and laid the gun down atop the wall.

“Nice shot for a first-timer,” Dean grinned.

You glanced toward the target. “I don’t see anything.”

“You only missed by maybe a few inches,” Sam said from behind you. “You’ll be a pro in no time.”

* * * * *

“This better be it,” Dean grumbled as the three of you stepped out of the Impala.

This was your first hunt. When Sam had found the hunt, Dean had suggested you stay behind, saying you weren’t ready for a hunt, but Sam pushed until his brother had said yes. Sam had argued that you could only learn so much in a controlled environment, you needed experience in the field, and even though Dean didn’t like it, in the end, he let it go.

That had brought you here, walking into the house of a witch.

“Alright, this should be easy, Y/N. When we find the witch, all you have to do is shoot her. Remember, witch killing bullets.”

You nodded, “Alright, that seems easy enough.”

You grabbed Sam’s hand and squeezed. You were scared out of your mind but you kept walking. You could do this. You had to for Sam. You wanted him to be proud of you.

Sam and Dean lifted their guns and Sam nodded at you to do the same. You walked into the room and found the witch bent over a spellbook.

“I knew you’d find me. And look at you, you brought your little girlfriend along too, splendid.” The witch smirked. She looked toward the door that you had just come through.

Before you could turn, you and the Winchesters were flung against the wall.

Dean growled and looked at Sam, speaking wordlessly in that Winchester way.

They jumped into action, catching the witch’s attention. With the flick of her wrist, she pinned them against the wall approaching them and speaking something in a language you didn’t understand.

Now was your chance. You slipped across the room and grabbed the gun Sam had given you.

You cautiously lifted it then glanced to Sam and Dean. Sam looked your way and gave you a nod.

Well, it was now or never.

You aimed, or at least tried to aim, at the witch and pulled the trigger.

But the witch didn’t go down. Instead, Sam had blood leaking through his flannel shirt.

“Sammy!” Dean yelled as the witch laughed, focusing her power on you and not them, and pinned you to the wall opposite of the brothers. Sam and Dean fell from the wall and you watched as the older Winchester checked on Sam then reached for his gun.

Dean turned his attention to the witch, shooting her in the chest. The witch dropped to the ground. You fell from the wall and noticed Dean hadn’t lowered his gun, and he’d walked closer to you. Dean bit his lip, dropping the weapon and sank to his knees, tears falling down his face.

“Dean wha-” You shifted to your gaze to Sam, finally registering what had happened.

You’d shot Sam.

The world stopped for a moment before you ran over to him, skidding across the floor. “Sam! Oh god, Sam,” you dropped down beside him.

“Y/N/N,” your boyfriend grabbed your hand. “I love you.”

“No, don’t die on me. You can’t. You’ll be okay,” you shook your head in denial, placing your hands over his wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

You leaned your forehead against his. “You can’t die on me,” your tears dripped onto his face.

Dean’s footsteps sounded behind you and he knelt down by Sam, his face coated in tears. You raised up off Sam and moved beside him, refusing to let go.

“Dean…” Sam coughed, “Take care of Y/N/N, please. Don’t let her get hurt.”

“No. Dammit Sammy I told you…” Dean shook his head.

You pressed a light kiss to Sam’s lips. “I love you,” you whispered, crying as he took his final breath, fading into the light.

* * * * *

Dean chopped wood while you added freshly chopped pieces to the funeral pyre. Neither of you had spoken since he had carried Sam’s stiff body out of the witch’s house. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as the memories drowned you.

_It was late when you heard the knocking on your door. No one was ever out at that hour. Except him._

_You bolted out of bed, stumbling over who knows what in the darkness of your home, heading to the front door. Flipping on the porch light, you glanced out the window, just to make sure it was him and not some stranger._

_Sam._

_You grinned and unlocked the door as fast as possible. Eagerly wanting to jump into his arms and never let him go._

_“Sam!” You squealed happily._   
_  
He lifted you off the ground and into his arms. “I’ve missed you.”_

_“I’ve missed you too,” you rested your forehead against his head befo-_

You shook your head, clearing the memory from your mind. You stared at the pyre in front of you, a tear falling down your cheek. You turned around, walking past Dean to retrieve more wood. A new memory invading your mind.

_You were lost in Sam’s eyes, trying to figure out what colour they were._

_“Y/N/N?” His voice broke you out of your trance._

_You shook your head, smiling. “Sorry, what were you saying?”_

_“I wasn’t saying anything, you just seemed… lost in thought.” He reached across the dinner table and grabbed your hand._

_You laughed lightly, your smile growing, “I was lost in your eyes trying to figure out what color they are.”_

_That was the first time you had seen Sam’s laugh reach his eyes. He was genuinely happy since the first time you’d met him._

_Because of you._

You pulled yourself out of your memories long enough to stack the rest of the wood on the pyre. It wasn’t long before they consumed you again.

_“Excuse me, miss?”_

_You lifted your head from your work to see a tall gentleman in a suit. “Yes?” You had asked quietly. New people always made you uncomfortable, but you had managed to speak. Which was good, because you would have kicked yourself forever if you missed the opportunity to speak to the gorgeous man standing in front of you._

_He reached inside the jacket of his suit and pulled out a badge that he flashed your way for a few seconds.  “May I ask you a few questions about the recent deaths on campus? Everyone has said they’ve seen you here each time they happen.”_

_“Oh, uh, sure,” you nodded nervously._

_You hadn’t done anything. The deaths had just… happened. You never really saw how as you were invested in writing or doing homework._

_You watched him as he spoke, mesmerized by his eyes. You’d never seen such a more perfect man._

Dean walked by you with Sam’s cloth-wrapped body and your heart shattered. This was real, and it fucking hurt.

Holding back the tears, you tried to help, but Dean nudged you away.

_“I love you.”_

You could hear Sam’s loving voice echoing the words in your mind and it was breaking you.

You had killed the one person you loved more than anything. And it would haunt you forever.

You watched as Dean poured the gasoline over Sam and the pyre. He lit his lighter then tossed it into the gasoline, watching the flames ignite, with silent tears streaming down his face.

He stood beside you, stone-faced and unmoving.

You let the tears fall freely as you listened to the sounds of the crackling fire. You decided to take it upon yourself to finally say something, but you weren’t sure what to say. It took a moment to find the words before you spoke.

“Sam…” you voice cracked. “You were the world to your brother and me. We loved you and we’ll miss you. And I’m so,” you sobbed. You choked on the words. “I’m so so sorr-” 

“Shut up,” Dean’s voice cut you like knives. “You killed him, you don’t get to apologize.”

“Dean, I was trying to help. I didn’t know I’d kill him.”

“I told Sam to leave you at the bunker, but he insisted so I gave in. Then you just had to go be the hero and you killed him.” He snapped.

“Dean… come on, you know I didn’t mean t-”

“It doesn’t matter what you say. Sam’s dead,” he interrupted you again.

“You’re all I’ve got Dean, please,” you pleaded.

You knew you had hurt him. You had accidentally murdered the one person who was everything to him. No one else in the world mattered. It was him and Sam. It had always been just him and Sam.

“No, you don’t have me. I had my brother. You- You didn’t matter. You only ever mattered to Sam and now he’s gone. You killed him and there ain’t no comin’ back from that.” Another tear slipped down his cheek.

“And I won’t ever forgive myself for that,” she croaked.

“Neither will I.” Dean gave you a death glare. “It should be you up there, not him.”

You bit your lip to hold back the cry that made its way into your throat. You vision blurred with tears that fell fast down your cheeks.

“You need to leave, Y/N. Go back to your normal life. I never want to see you again and if I do, I will kill you. You understand me?”

“Mmhmm,” you nodded through the tears. The sound you made was high.

Silent sobs escaped you as you watched Sam’s body be engulfed by the flames. And your thoughts took you to a life long gone.

_Christmas music was playing softly throughout the house. You hummed along merrily as you baked Christmas cookies, though it wasn’t as joyous as you wished it to be._

_You wished your boyfriend could be with you, but he was off parading around the country on a road trip with his brother._

_You walked over to the steam covered window and looked out into the dark night. Street lights illuminated the world just enough to watch the fresh snow falling. Smiling, you step lightly over to the fireplace and lit it._

_You heard a light knock on the door and glanced up at the clock. No one should be knocking at such a late hour, which could only mean one thing. You made your way to the door and pulled on a Christmas sweater before you were to be assaulted by the freezing night air._

_You opened the door and a wave of emotions washed over you._

_Sam was here, on Christmas Eve. He hadn’t mentioned he was coming. All along you thought you’d be spending Christmas with only your family._

_Before you had the chance to say anything, Sam knelt down on one knee and opened a ring box._

_Your eyes widened and jaw dropped at the sight. You listened to Sam’s words of adoration and love as a tear slipped down his cheek._

_“I love you, Y/N/N. Will you marry me?” You could hear the nervousness in his voice._

_You nodded your head, wildly saying yes what seemed like a million times._

_You jumped into his arms, knocking both of you to the ground, pulling giggles from both of you. You leaned down and pressed a kiss to Sam’s lips._

_“I love you,” you both breathed at the same time._

_You stood up and took his hand, pulling him off the ground. He pulled the ring out of the box then took your hand, slipping it on to your finger._

You sank to your knees in the damp grass, collapsing from the pain of having lost your fiance because of your own stupid mistake.

* * * * *

You stared down at the engagement ring Sam once said he had spent weeks picking out. You twisted it around your finger as you sat on the couch in your old home. You had left the bunker the moment you were able to move out of the field and go pack your things.

Some of those things included several books from the bunker that you were praying Dean never finds out you stole.

If Sam was dead, then the least you could do was train yourself to be a hunter just like he had been teaching you to be. Atoning for your mistakes and becoming the best hunter alive.

If you were going to live in a world without Sam, you might as well raise some hell along the way.


End file.
